Fears

We are taught to face our fears. For most of us, we don't know what our fears are until we face them.

I tell people my biggest fear is of a car accident. It's true. I am terrified of traffic going too fast, and people driving badly. I am afraid. Also, I am afraid of being a bag lady.

I am scared of spiders in my hair. This is what happened this morning:

I picked up my shampoo, and a green spider dangled off of it, ready to go into my hair, or my eye, or wherever in my shower. I screamed! Ahhhh! and tried to throw it off! But it hung on by its web/thread! Ahhhhh! I screamed again. The cat, Cabby, came running (I must've been really screaming terrified because Cabby is 16 years old and doesn't move much). I finally got its sticky web/thread away and the green spider fell to the bottom of the shower. Ahhhhhhh! I screamed, terrified because it was at my feet! As I tried to drown it, it wouldn't die, and I kept saying to it, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry."

I hate killing any creature, any time, ever.

So then I tried to save it. I said to Cabby, "Cabby, can you please help me with this?" and then I touched the green spider and it disappeared! Ahhhhhhh! Where did it go?! OMG OMG where is that spider? Is it going to crawl up my leg? Is its web/string thingy still attached somewhere to something in the shower? OMG!

I screamed my way out of the shower, dried off, put a robe on, and wrote this blog. That green spider is still in my hair, forsure.

Scary!
What are YOU scared of?

The Guest House

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.


-- Jelaluddin Rumi,
    translation by Coleman Barks